At any rate, I heard about this blog here, and thought it'd be interesting to come down and check it out, see what all the fuss was about. In looking around, I found this. This utter ponce, Greg, presumes to speak for me and my experiences as a cripple in ... what year is it again, Joe? ... 1330? Thank you, Joe. 1330! And the ridiculous thing is this Greg presumes to be a deaf-mute! Well, if he's a deaf-mute, then I'm not a cripple, and since I'm clearly one, he's not a deaf-mute.
Now that that's settled, on to more serious matters.
What Greg wrote was complete nonsense. For one thing, what the heck's a 'socio-cultural model'?! Sounds heretical, if you ask me, especially seeing as there's no mention of God at all. Well, I suppose he does mention God when he talks about sin, but how about talking about Him without bringing sin into the equation?
After all, God is capable of miracles. Why, only last month Isabella, the blind girl from down the road, went to Canterbury with her parents. She and her parents prayed for a long time at the shrine of the saintly Thomas Becket and he was moved, moved enough, in fact, to intercede on Isabella's behalf with God Himself to procure a miracle whereby her infirmity was cured. Why, yes, she was cured! Right there, in front of dozens of witnesses, she suddenly realised she could see! And that isn't all! She was able to name all the colours correctly when she saw them. Why, one of the first things she saw when she realised she could see was an elderly woman's brown dress, and she correctly identified it as being brown - truly a miracle, as she was blind from birth! I mean, heck, she could name her blues from her yellows from her greens mere moments after being cured! If that isn't a honest to God genuine miracle, then I don't know what is!
And you know the silly thing? Someone accused her of faking her recovery because of her ability to name the colours instantly. Silly person - he should've realised that God gave her the knowledge of the colours when He cured her! ...Oh, wait. Isn't that what He does with deaf-mutes so they know how to speak and comprehend words?
Hm. How did she know the colours?
Eh, not important! What's important is that she was cured! A miracle! Now only if I could keep Joe here sober enough to take me down to Canterbury.... Sigh. Some day....
At any rate, God put me here for a reason, see. In His infinite wisdom, He has given His people infirmities to remind us that this is but the world before the next, and that we must redeem ourselves of Original Sin in order to enter Paradise. I'm here to remind people that they should practise Christian charity and give me, a deserving member of the poor, alms. They should also be glad that I am suffering this burden on their behalf while they are free of physical infirmities. After all, does not God strike down people with infirmities in the Bible, and does not Christ cure deaf-mutes, lepers, the mad, and so on?
See, it's not a hard life for me, really. I have a role to play in society, and I'm treated well. After all, we also have Phillip here in town. He lives on the wrong side of the road, true, but he's still treated well. He's not right in the head - he has the falling sickness, but we still let him run around the town and the countryside as he pleases. If anything, it's a golden age for people like Phil and me nowadays. I wouldn't be surprised if someone decided to write a nice poem about Christendom fifty or sixty years from now and talk about how nice it was that we let people like Phil roam about the countryside and glean in the fields during the harvest.
Speaking of the falling sickness, Joe, you had better lay off that mead, unless you want to have that kind of falling sickness. Maybe that Tom is on to something there, after all....
2 comments:
Random fact, inspired by the Dickie Bird link... The Nicholson Museum at USyd has the world's largest collection of Billy-and-Charlies: fake 'Viking' (i think they were viking...) artefacts 'dug up' by two Thames mud-drenchers, Billy and Charlie, and sold at a high price. Nicholson had a huge collection, and unlike everyone else who owned B&Cs, he didn't toss them out when the scandal was uncovered. They were donated to USyd along with the rest of his archaeological collection, and now are quite a rarity, since everyone else threw theirs out.
My Dad got to see them on display while I was enrolling in first year.. Sadly, I've never been able to find them myself: the socially awkward guy on the front desk seems never have heard of them, and it seems they're not normally on display.
Mmhmm! Even though the originals were fakes, at least the current incarnation of B&C notes that their copies are 'based on originals'.
At any rate, they're still quite interesting - whoever said medieval people were boring, ultra-religious, staid people has never actually taken the time to realise the awesomeness of the medieval period.
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